The following images are park of a collection of photographs which I didn't think I would end up going back through and talk about. During a recent critique in which I was explaining my project and how difficult it has been trying to move forward with both my life and work since my Nanan passed away, my tutor and several others caught a glimpse of these and wanted me to show them. My work till now has been filled with photographs which failed to communicate what it is I was feeling. Ever since my Nanan passed away I have felt nothing but confusion, and disorientation, and felt like I was here but not at the same time. I can hear things going on around me but my eyes failed to see. The photographs below were the first photographs which I had made since my Nanan passed away. These photographs were about me trying to communicate to myself what it is I was experiencing. I wanted to express myself in some way and show the pain that I was going through at that specific moment. It felt almost instinctive to make these photographs. When I brought up these images to the critique for the first time I felt that I had something which I could expand on. I had people stating that they could see the pain that I was experiencing and it affected them in some ways. They could look at these photographs and associate them within specific moments in their lives. This critique was the most emotional one that I had because I had to reflect on the first part of the project which was about finding my freedom and using it to confront mortality, to now exploring living without clarity and grief.
To move forward within my project I am going to try recreate this technique and continue to make these abstract photographs.
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